HMT – Number of the Bleach

Even we metalheads have days when chores simply must be done. Whether it’s washing your favourite pair of black jeans that just aren’t like the 20 other pairs you have, dusting down your amps or generally tidying the result of one of the many beer fuelled parties you host, you’d always prefer to sit on your arse and blast some metal.

Salvation! You can join the two in order to make the cleaning bearable. A hand crafted list of must-play songs when cleaning will see you through.

Please note: Anything can be used as a guitar when cleaning.

I Want To Break Free – Queen
No cleaning should be started without taking inspiration from the drag queen housemaids who can hold a tune. Hell, if you’re not in drag to start you’re already doing it wrong.

Cult of Personality – Living Colour
Easing nicely into some 80s funk metal you can sing along to the politically driven song and feel the need to fight against your own agenda of wiping down the sink.

Pour Some Sugar On Me – Def Leppard
There’s nothing like doing the dishes to a bit of Def Leppard while Joe Elliot sings about adding the finishing touches to his lemon drizzle cake (that’s clearly the underlying theme of the song)

Crazy Train – Ozzy Osbourne
This riff is scientifically proven to lift your mood from the housework blues
*details of the experiment was personally tried and tested

Run to the Hills – Iron Maiden
Cleaning may make you feel like this and I don’t blame you, but the nice fast beat will help you whizz round the living room with the hoover and you can even appropriately use it as an air guitar.

Gravel Road – Clutch
Fast paced country rock is bound to get your blood pumping. Hey, by now you should almost be enjoying yourself!

Burn It Down – AWOLNATION
Keeping the tempo up as your bob your arse around the house is the key to successful cleaning. Burn It Down will do more than suffice this requirement.

Hard Rock Hallelujah – Lordi
Everyone needs a little Lordi.

Absolute Zero – Stone Sour
Getting into your chunkier beats this will get you headbanging, get you angrier and you can use the rage to scrape the burnt pasta off the bottom of the pot

Cowboys from Hell – Pantera
Finishing nice and strong with Phil Anselmo, by now you should have the floors clear to go absolutely nuts with your mop guitar and celebrate the end of your cleaning quest. Enjoy it for now, because you know you’ll have to do it all over again eventually...


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